18WT #085 - 18 Wheel Talk Rewind: Episode 28 From July Of 2021

October 10, 2023  Patrick Heller / Janet McCue

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Episode #085

I swear to God, Patrick, what are you swearing to God for, because I can, I shouldn't, but I did. I'm so sorry. Help me. Jesus. Baby Jesus. Please help me. We started with a prayer. Amen. Brother. Amen. Amen. Welcome to the 18 wheel talk podcast show. We're gonna take you on a rollercoaster ride of the 18 wheel talk kind. Whoop. Whoop. Hey. We're not just a podcast for truckers.

We're much, much more, much, much more. That's right. We're going to give you a little humor, a little laugh, a little, Hey, what's going on today, Patrick? I don't know Janet. What's going on? We're going to talk about something fun. I'm doing really good. Yeah. We're talking, we're going to talk about the ever changing role of families in America, America, America, America.

He takes a drink. Why do we want to talk about families? Well, because, you know, we have dysfunctional families. Oh, well, that's always. I know all about your dysfunctional family. I mean, come on. It's like pandemic

2020. Everybody got to know. Everybody, you got to many families got to get together, whether they wanted to or not. Some families moved back in together, like multi generation and siblings moving in with their siblings, family money. Oh, and it was like, Oh, wow. The things I read and saw was amazing. Rather go into poor house.

I went down a rabbit hole watching videos. Besides. My, my, my brother couldn't handle us all moving back with his, with his bunch going there. Yeah, right. Imagine if all his kids and then you and I and Kyle all went to Scott's house. Oh, come on. We'll just bring mom and dad back too. Come on. Not to mention that is taking all the dogs, mom and mom and dad take, take, take visitors on a rotation every two days.

Okay. We're claiming first and staying. Yeah. Yeah. Every, every. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Mom and dad. How do, how do I claim that? Because I can, because I'm Janet. Yeah, I'll give you that one. Okay, good. I'll give you that. Besides, your dad loves me. What? Mm hmm. So it's your mommy. Oh, okay. And you're your mommy's favorite, even though Elizabeth.

Yeah, right. Who will never listen to this. Don't say that so loud. She doesn't know that. I know it. You know it. So. I know it. Hold on. I'm having, I'm having microphone problems. He's having microphone problems, people. Give me a, give me a tidbit minute here. A tidbit. So. A tidbit minute. My opinion is, people say, well, my family's normal.

Well, just hold on a second. I'm just going to talk while you play with that. You got to see this video. He's I'm usually the 18. I'll talk about you, too. Because he was like, you know, I'm usually the one with microphone problems. This is like all over the fucking on my shit. Wow. What is it like two minutes to get it?

Not even five minutes, baby. I'm I'm ready to go. Anyway, I'm usually the one with microphone. Alright. His is all over the place, up, down, around. Is this working? Hello? Yeah, it's working. Okay. Whew! That was exciting. I caught, yeah, I caught my, my... My headset on it and it pulled and jerked it all around. So you've been jerking.

Maybe, maybe, maybe I'm a professional on top and I'm partying down below. Go to one eight wheel talk. com forward slash YouTube. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button. And this is, what episode is this Patrick? Uh, we are on, I believe, 28th episode, 28. So you can see what he was doing. He was really playing with.

I was. I, I fucked it all up. Why? Sorry. Enough. Stop. You know, I'm debating on putting the microphone on up here and having a dangle in my face, you know, but I don't think I got enough cable to do that. You know, you're a dangling, you know, do something like this, like like the radio DJs actually do, you know, yeah, dingleberry.

I'm not used to that. Yeah, it looks like that.

We still haven't told people what we're talking. I mean, we told them families in America, but I started to just like give them some info. And you're like, no, stop. No, stop. Wait. Stop. Right there. I got to know. Right. Do you love me? Will you love it forever? Well, anyways, of course you're my family.

So the function of families in America. The definition of the function of families in America is the physical maintenance and care of family members. Okay. The addition of new members through the adoption or procreation. Hey, let's procreate. Let's have sex people. Yeah. And if you can't procreate, during 2020, there's a problem.

Okay. The socialization. Oh, wait. Aside from the, uh, the occasional hallway sex. Yeah. You know what that is, right? That's oral sex. Yeah. That's, that's kind of like when you brush shoulders in the hallway and you tell each other, fuck you. Cause you, fuck you. Yeah. That's hallway sex. Yeah. But the function of families is also the socialization of children.

And I have some major issues and that's a whole nother podcast coming. That's a rant for later on. The socialization of your children, people. Janet has a rant coming. What? The social control of its family members. I smell rant number three. Production. I'm owning rant number two. You get number three. OK, the production, consumption and distribution of goods and service and the affection of the effective nurturance.

In other words, you got to love your family is what they're trying to say. What? Who says, who says, who said I had to? I don't know people. Oh, okay. See, the thing, I believe you have to love your family, but you don't have to like your family. Right. Well, I'm a real big one on that. I know. I'm not the only one when I say, who says I gotta love my brothers and sisters?

Me. I have to tolerate them. I don't have to love them. No, you have to love them because you were born into the family. You don't have to like them. You don't even have to tolerate them. I have to love them though. You have to love them. Oh, yeah. Because they're family. What? Yeah. I'm telling you, I'm getting, I'm getting the raw shake here.

I'm the middle child and there's a lot of people out there that are out behind me on this one. I'm the youngest, you know the middle. You wanna talk middle child? You need to talk to my brother David. The middle child got the shit stick. Yeah, we got the, we got the raw deal. We got the hand me downs from the oldest and the youngest was, especially if the youngest is a female, then she got, she got every, she was the exquisite I said that to.

Whoa boy. Look at. Fire. I got the hand me downs from my sister who was the oldest of five and my brothers. If you can shoot the fire out your eyes. Well, if you were the baby of the family of a smaller family, like I am. Oh, okay. I'm the baby boy. And then there's, but, but then there's my sister who. Once she come along, forget it.

And that's a whole, that could be like three podcasts all by itself. She's the baby and female. So, and she will never let you forget it. Hell no, she won't. She won't. Nope. So now you know how Patrick feels about his family. Yeah. Well, like I said, I, I, I love, I love my siblings. I do. Mm hmm. From afar. Hey. We live in Arizona.

He has a sibling in New York and a sibling in Las Vegas. They're a phone call away. They're a video chat away. That's a, that's good. Video chat. I want to see them. I have a sibling here in the Valley. Yes. I have a sibling in Colorado and one in Missouri. Misery. And I would have them all. I would have us all on the same block if I could have my way with my family.

Well, I guess we could have one big compound of McCue's and I would be happy. Yeah, it could be in the mountains. I would be fine because I'd have brothers to shovel the snow. You kidding? I would, I would so have a plow truck. Oh yeah, like Chuck does. I'm sure he's got some big plow and Jamie, I'm sure by now.

He's got like, well, both of them got tractors. I know, I like tractors, tractors are fun. I think, I think David even has a tractor, doesn't he? I don't know, he probably does. He probably does, doesn't need it. He doesn't need it in Arizona, but if he, if he had one. He's got a backyard. Yeah, a pool. And some grass, but I don't think a tractor would, he could turn the tractor around.

Like I said, it doesn't have to be big. Okay. It's like that commercial where the guy's got the little patch with this huge lawnmower. All he has to do is start it up, it's done. Done. Done mowing the lawn, honey. Put it back in the garage anyway, but I would have so much fun living close to my family. I really would.

Anyways. Welcome to our show. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. If you got us in, if you got us in your earbuds and you're listening to us on your favorite podcast player, please, please leave us a review, but it's not how we're doing. Say hi. And, uh, and if you're watching our video on YouTube. Smash Janet to cover her bra strap once in a while.

Smash the like button and leave a comment telling Janet to cover her damn bra strap. Get your shit together. I'll start wearing long sleeves. Whatever. Well, I usually wear a sweater today. I went rebel and wear a tank top. Yeah. So anyways, smash that like button. Subscribe to the show. Hit the little ding a ling bell.

So you get notified when new videos come out every Tuesday. Could you tilt your head down? I was looking for the dingling bell on top of your head. Ha ha ha. . You fun? I smashed a button. . Yeah. I went there. Come here. I'll smash your butt. Ah. Smash your button, baby. Anyway, so there was a study about the American family.

Okay? It was, they've been doing it for several years, actually more six years. Who did the study? B Y U. They did. This is the B Y U result of the, that's Brigham Young. Brigham Young University. And that's in California, right? That's in Utah. Yeah, like I said, Utah, um,

they've done it for six. So the one I thought they were in like Hollywood ish, I thought they were in Utah. I don't know. Google. Oh, I get to Google. You get a Google. It's fun. Google. I'm the goggler. You're the goggler. So anyway. So they did a study last year. That was their sixth one. I'm sure they're going to continue with it.

So this year would be their seventh, but I have the results of their sixth year report. It's in Provo, Utah. Oh, look at that, Janet was right. Yes, Janet was right. I was wrong all the time. They are a religious university. Okay. So I kind of been, you know, know a little bit about religious universities. I'm kind of into that kind of thing.

And, you know, yes, I know you, I, your football's really good, but anyway, 3, 000 respondents. Okay. Okay. So they have 3, 000 people do this. 3, 000 people were polled, so to speak. That when you have multiple stressors on your life, you know, economic stressors, like money. When is money not a problem? Unless you're over six figures and even then.

Everybody in 2020 had a money problem. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, if you didn't, you were in politics. Some way, shape, or, yeah, yeah, right. Or, or you're, or you're a lawyer. Yeah. Or relationship problems. Okay, and think about it, if you were not used to having your spouse right on top of you 24 7 and then you both started working from home and you had all your kids at home or even say your one step son at home.

And then all of a sudden all three of us were in the house all day all the time you had relationship stress. You should see the look he's giving me. . Whatcha trying to say Janet? Nothing. Patrick. No. Really? No. Out with it. Let's go. I didn't say a word. I just given. So then let's, let's, let's talk about this.

Come on. How, how many months have you been retired now? It's been three months, three months, almost four, almost four months, 24, seven. You and Kyle. I love it, baby. I'll go back to work tomorrow. You want, when I get up in the morning, I'm going to sit down and start getting these podcasts together. I know.

Right. Get a job.

Anyway, you're much, you know, you might want to get ahold of the doctor. That's a nasty cough. That sounds like it might be a COVID cough. Speaking of COVID, you're much more likely to have experienced trouble once coronavirus hit. What? Yeah. Shut the front door. But if you give an example like those compared to say.

Financial stability and those facing problems with their finances, the ones that were having problems say they lost their job during COVID they're twice as likely to have said that the pandemic caused stress in their life. So if, if you're unemployed and your friend is employed, the unemployed person is going to say, yes, the pandemic caused stress in my life.

No, no, they wouldn't do that. Did I say that backwards? No, they wouldn't do that. No. Seriously. Did I just say it backwards? I don't know. The unemployed one has more is twice as likely to have problems from pandemics than the one that's employed than the one that still has their job. Okay. Okay. So some of the, I think I got you.

All right. Let's go. Let's, let's rewind a little bit. Say that again. Okay. People that say that the pandemic caused stress in their life. Okay. If they were unemployed by the pandemic, they're twice as likely to say that. Then people that still had their jobs. I got you. Now that makes sense. Okay, whew, it's like, you were looking at me like, what the hell are you saying?

Like a headlight. Yeah, really, what the hell is this nonsense you're talking? Wow, a major deer jumping out in a headlight there, dude. I know, I duded you. Dude, what's up? Okay. So what are some of the changes that you saw or read about about the dramatic changes in family roles and structure because of the pandemic?

I mean, you know, it's out there. Well,

we're talking pandemic and I'm coughing. I know. Right. But, um, more people are living with extended families. Okay. Okay. In 2020. Yeah. And yeah, it's like 25 percent rise or something, isn't it? It's like 20 percent and more people are living with extended families this year. 25, 25 percent 2020 compared to 20 percent 2019.

Okay. So there's an increase. So yeah, there's an increase in families living together because of the pandemic. Everybody knows that everybody, everybody knows that. So everybody's stress level kind of went a little bit like, Oh shit, what the fuck am I going to do now? Some people lost their job. Some people made it work.

Some people ended up with a lot more hours. Yes, because, because they didn't have that structure to where, okay, I've worked so long. It's time to take a break. It's like now you're home. You're working, you're working while you're taking care of the kids, you're working while you're, you're, you're, it's a continuous cycle.

And so you're, you're 40 hour a week job with the 70 hours when, when the shutdown occurred. Yeah. When the conspiracy hit the, hit the. But when the conspiracy hit the fan, so when the shit hit the fan, everybody's hours doubled, but your pay stayed the same. But it's true. But you were being paid for this, but you still had to get up in the morning and get your kids schooling started.

So you had to take care of your job. Because you were taking care of your kid also, you ended up working instead of like a nine to five with a half hour for lunch or a nine to five 30 with a half hour for lunch. You saw yourself on your computer. You were for a meeting at seven 30 in the morning and at seven 30 at night.

You're still working on catching up in your work instead of work. Yeah. Instead of working your nine to five, you were working your eight, eight. Eight to 11. Yeah. Eight or eight to eight or whatever. Yeah. 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM Yeah. You'd be lucky. After dinner, you're able to sit down and put your feet up and have a glass of wine.

Yeah. But they say that men are just, have adjusted to the new work and life balances during the pandemic. 40 percent struggled say with the whole new roles of the house. Exactly. Because now, now they're home. It's like, Hey, sorry, buddy, you're home. You're helping out. Well, and the men are like, well, we're doing things evenly.

50, 50 split. I do my half of the work. And the women are like, I under and I get it. No, no, no. It's not 50 50. It's like 65, 35, 75, 25. If the man of the house is helping with the kids, then Yeah. You know, like if he's getting up like, like you guys split it, you know, it's like you gotta, the way we talked about this, we, we decided that, hey, let's, let's try to give one day a week.

Is is our day off? Boy, I miss that? But, but you know what I mean? We, we, when we came up with our schedule, we said we're gonna try to get ahead. It's the getting ahead part that once we got ahead, we're going to take one day a week off. Yes. Unfortunately, we've well, it's been like this, but let me mention, that's also my fault because it's health problems.

Health problems have nothing to do with COVID health problems that got us behind. It's life gets in the way it gets in the way. So it was really hard to get ahead. So we put in the extra effort. And that's what people are doing it. That's what I feel people were doing. But that's not what they're talking about.

They're talking about the division of just basic chores. Well, that's what I was getting at. I mean, we said we were going to take one day off a week. Yes. And it hasn't happened yet, but yet we still. You know, between us, I think we keep the house going pretty goddamn good. Yes, I do.

Ha ha ha ha! Threw you under the bus really quick. Seriously? You backed over me! Ha ha! I run that bus for I help out. Yes. I help out. Don't you say I don't help. You help out. Yes. Mm-hmm. But again, that's that 50 50 division.

You do more cooking than you did when you worked full time. Yes. Yes. Okay. I, like I said, I, and you still do, you're really good about helping with dishes. I do dishes. I, you know, and you're, I try helping, I help with the, I help with the, I help with the girls. He helps walk the pugs. We each walk the, we've divided the pugs, we've divided the conquer.

It's like, it's like with our pugs, there's a morning and uh, uh, there's a morning and evening and night. Walk. There's always at least three walks a day with our pugs because it's summer and it's Arizona. So she does the morning because she's, it goes Janet, then the butt crack at dawn and then dawn. So Janet's up, Janet does the, does the morning shift.

Before the sun rises usually, or just as the sun is rising before everything gets hot. We go for a nice long walk. Yep. Then Patrick does the one right around supper time. And then Kyle does one around midnight. Yep. It works. Because he's, he, he works nights. So he works nights. We, we make sure he gets home.

We're up when he gets home and he takes the girls for a walk at night. So for the most, for the most part, it's like, all right. At first everyone was like, all right, whoa, whoa, what the hell's going on? And then. People set up a structure like you said, it's more than 50 50 at first, but then people learned how to, all right, well, yeah, when you first, when you first got off work, when you first retired from the job, you know, forced out, in my opinion, um, that's a rant for another day.

Totally. But anyway, when you were first off work, we'll call it that. It was not. Kyle does he has chores to do because he's a he's a child living as a teenager while he's 20 now living at home. Yeah, he's a student living at home. Therefore, he has responsibilities at home. Yeah, we asked him to help out.

Yes, but I believe that anybody who lives in a place. Any. They have chores, you have part, you have to help keep the house clean. You have to take care of your laundry. You have things you have to do stuff. You're going to do when you're on your own. Anyways, correct. I just don't learn how to do it. Now, when you're, if you're under the age of 10, I get that.

You don't know how to do your own laundry. Totally. Okay. That's a whole nother story. When you're 20 years old, you're 20. You better know how to do it. You better know how to start that washing machine up at some point during the week. And wash your damn clothes otherwise you're really going to smell bad when you go to work anyway.

Okay. So Kyle has his stuff. He does. And then I've always done the rest. Okay. Well, because I was working shift at the time. That's what I said, because you were working, then you got off work and at first there was no pickup. You always have picked up the slack when I had a really bad migraine like the one last week where I was my head under a pillow for two days.

Hence. Health problems. ? Yeah. Well, when you get a migraine, you get a migraine, so there's nothing, it's like there's, there's just nothing you can do about it. Like you, you would cook and thought nothing of doing dishes and taking out the garbage and walking the girls. I just do what I do and everything it has to done.

But things like sweep the floors, mop the floors. Yeah, they get on my knees, counters, get on my knees with a toothbrush and clean the cracks of the tile. No, that's not on my, that's, that's not on my plate. Dust vacuum. Hey, clean counters off the stuff that I do. Nobody does when, when you're, when you're up to it every other week, you do spring cleaning.

I get it. I'm just not up to that. Not everybody's up to your standard, darling. But to me, that's not spring cleaning. I look at it as spring clean. When you're tearing up, moving the plants out of the way, vacuuming underneath the plants, then reorganize the plants every week. To me, that's a, that's a spring cleaning job.

Okay. So when I move the toaster and wipe under it, that's spring cleaning. That's, that's like, somebody should do that all the time. I usually do. I'm taking a drink. Me. I usually do it once a week. I usually do. If I, if I use it, I clean under it. If I do the dishes, I pick it up and wipe the whole counter down.

Yes. So don't give me from one count, from one end to the other. Don't gimme your shit. You know, you come on. I know you do. Come on. Don't make me . Don't make me not, don't make me come in there and get you. Don't make, yeah, don't make me come over there. Don't make me come over there. Don't make me come. Ju this microphone

Anyway. People differ, like to me you wanna see the, if you wanna, if you wanna see the argument, go to one eight wheeltalk.com slash YouTube okay.

I'm also going to be the one that's always going to sweep the front sidewalk. I'm always going to sweep the patio. I'm always aware of stuff like that because that's how I grew up. Yeah. And you're always outside in nine 90 to a hundred degree weather. That's comfortable for you. Yeah. 90 to 105, 110. It depends if it's shady, 110, 115, no big deal.

Yeah, I'm not, that's too hot. Okay. So anyway, people have different views, but I know that as you got into not being at work and Fighting this whole, you were forced out of your job thing. And we're not going into that. Um, you started picking up the slack and I know that all I have to do is say, Hey, I need some help with, or could you do this?

And you're going to, you're really good about like, if I start laundry, you're really good about switching loads and helping with everything like that. You're really great about like cooking and cleaning. I kind of look at your cross eyed though. Like, Hey, what do I, how much. How much, what do I set this at?

How do I, how do I work this thing? , our washer and dryer sing to me. Where's the power? Where's the power button? Our washer and dryer sing to me and you can set the washer to, to delay up to 24 hours. . Hey honey, I can't, I, I don't know where the volume button is on the washing machine. How do I, how do I do this?

Yeah, I know it. Where's the remote ? The remote's right here, honey. You have to look at YouTube to see the remote. Yeah. Okay. I have the remote. Anyway, we have, we have a smart washer and dryer. My sister would say we, we're not, we're not ghetto fabulous no more. We stepped up to bougie. We're bougie. We got a, we got a washer, a smart washer and dryer and a refrigerator that makes ice.

And spits water. What? Crushed ice. I know, right? So let's get back on subject. That's great. So 80%. Okay. So 56 percent of people say they appreciate their spouse more. Okay. Because of the pandemic, they made them really sit and think you either got divorced or you loved your spouse or the person you live with more.

And I know some that like. They're, they're so over the person they're living with or their spouse are like, we're done or they really appreciate who they're with. Right. Okay. Right. It's like, wow, I didn't realize you did all this. I didn't realize you went through all this for your job because if you're both working for home, you're seeing what your spouse goes through on a daily basis for their job.

Right. And what they do at home. Yes. And what they do at home. Correct. And 80 percent of. Parents said that parenting is so important to their identity compared to say, three or four years ago, it was only like 70 percent and the pandemic brought it out because now they're not just. Going to work, you know, dropping your kid off at school, going to work, coming, getting your kid home from school and feeding 'em dinner and playing and bathing and go to bed, you know, helping with homework and everything.

But now it's you're the teacher too, or you're making sure that they're getting up and not just sitting at the kitchen island in front of the laptop. They're actually doing the homework that the teacher's telling them to, or they're being homeschooled. Right. Well, exactly. Because the pandemic, it was like the kids were, it was online learning and the parents are trying to, they're like, holy crap, fifth grade is hard.

But even like the nail tech that I used to go to, Sarah. She, she was doing her nail stuff from home and her son Malik was going to first grade or kindergarten at first in first grade, um, from their kitchen Island and she had to rearrange so that she could see from her table where she was doing nails to the kitchen Island to make sure he was doing his homework instead of sitting there.

You know, or play video games or on one of his handheld or going into the front room and watching TV, right? Well, because suddenly she's not just working and a mom. She's also making sure that the kids getting back because the teacher had like 40 students. She can't watch 40 little faces and say, Hey, so and so come back to the screen all the time.

Right. Well, I don't think they did 40 students online learning did some of them had a lot. Wow. Yeah. Some of them had pages upon pages. That's crazy. Yeah. I, if I can't see your face, I can't, you know, if I can't see your face in my, in my, in my, on my screen. Yeah. Well, and on like on zoom. Right. Go ahead. Go ahead.

On zoom, you can have like three pages of people, you can have like 75 people on some of the meetings I've been to meetings that had over a hundred people on zoom. And when you're, you have speaker view and then you have it where you can see all the people participating, like thumbnails of them, they're still active and you can see them, but it's thumbnail size and you can flip through the pages and see all the people.

Well, yeah. And well, I remember that when everything went online learning that zoom and Skype and all those, all these. Video people, their, their, their platforms crashed because they couldn't handle it. They had no idea what was going on now. It's like a breeze, you know, no hiccups, no. Yeah. So that, I mean, they went through and they fine tune their, their craft for so As we get back to talking about families, sorry, but anyways, it's a struggle at first.

Yes. The, the pandemic really made people think about families and the role of each person in the family and what's important and what's important. But what BYU also found out is the number of single adults has risen. Like almost eight, 9 percent in recent years. Um, and I hate to bring up the pandemic again, but single people really struggled during the pandemic with loneliness.

Well, that's obvious if you're single and you live alone. If, if you got, if you're, if you went through the shutdown. And you didn't have nobody when it gets what you went nuts crazy or you really liked it. One of the two. Oh yeah. Yeah. No, you're a loner. But I mean, could you imagine the online doctor visits talking to a shrink online because they're lonely?

Yeah. But people are talking more about, um, political and social issues together. 15 percent higher in the last say five to 10 years than they used to, you know, a lot of people didn't talk about political and social things, you know, um, They, they just didn't like social issues, you know, and, um, a lot of people don't believe that there's, what's the look for?

Okay. You just gave me a look. You, you, you, you, you were skipping. I was going to reach over and give you a smack because you're skipping over. Well, yeah, I've talked about family. Well, no, no, no. You were sounding like a broken record. I was going to tip you. No. And well, I stopped because you were looking at me weird.

I know. Okay. And then a lot of people believe that, um, the cost of raising a child. Um, you can't afford to raise a kid now that you can't afford to have a kid because you can't afford to, you know, I wouldn't want to delaying raising children, having children. Like it used to be, you had kids when you were 20 years old, you got married early and you had kids right away.

And so you had a lot of young parents. Young grandparents, you know, well, now kids are having kids and yeah, but no, that's, that's not it. I mean, back then kids were having kids now it's people are waiting until their thirties to get married because they would do so during the pandemic. Well, not just that, but before the pandemic, they're waiting to get married till later in life.

And they're waiting to have kids till later in life, which that's a whole different subject because if they wait too long, the woman can't. Yeah. But they're waiting to get married, waiting to have kids or they get married in their twenties and wait to have kids. My nephew, uh, Tony and his wife, Jen, are a perfect example.

They got married in their twenties. Might've been early thirties. I don't have a book or calendar in front of me, but they got married. Yeah. Bought a house. Travel. That's what you did. Traveled. OK. Enjoyed life, you know, remodeled their house, traveled, went to Europe, hiked Europe. That was their, that was the priorities they had set for each.

Did everything they all the, got all the traveling and everything because they knew that when they had children that they weren't going to have that availability to just jump career family, you know, get your, get your career set. Your house, all that. But that's not how it used to be, is what I'm trying to say.

It used to be people got married, had a kid, lived in an apartment, and eventually bought a house. Yes. That's what I'm trying to say, Patrick. Yes, I agree. And now that, now that, you know, the shit hit the fan. Yes. It's all on a tizzy. Yeah, you know, people are getting, not, a lot of people don't even get married.

I know they just live together in sin. I don't know what you're talking about. Because someone forgot to ask someone. I don't know what you're talking about. For permission. I don't know. I know who I got to ask. Besides you get married, you have marital problems. Who wants that? You don't get married. You might have some roommate problems.

But anyway, I don't believe it. You don't scare me. So, and the thing that I was really not aware of is what? What were you not aware of? Well, until I saw, until I knew some people that did it, buy houses before you get married. So people buy a house together before they get married. I really wasn't used to that.

Okay. No, I'm just, were you what? Buying a house before we got married. Was I speaking French? Well, we didn't buy a house did we? Good Lord. Save you . I swear to God, Patrick. Oh. Oh. You going off Southern ? Oh, because you're driving me up a freaking wall. That's a short drive. . Ah, people buying houses together before they get engaged or married.

Yes. What about it? That's something that's kind of new. People didn't used to buy houses together. Right. Do I have to scream? No. You just looked at me like I had a You had a third eye. Yes. It's gonna pop out and explode. What? Oh, it's really bad, dude. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. If you want to see Janet hit Patrick, just tune in.

That stop threatening me. Just turn around. Face your camera.

Let's come on back on topic. Anyways, anyway, anyway, I was simply asking that question. Is that something you were used to seeing? No. Okay. No, you got married, you got married and you moved from your small places of living, wherever you were living. Like usually it's like, I would have a place, you would have a place.

Then we move in together because we got married because that's what you do. You don't have separate living quarters. So then, then you got married, you bought a house. That's usually what happens. Then you have kids. Yes. And then you worked for the man for a hundred years, a hundred fucking years. Okay.

Anyways. So sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to make it feel like I'm pulling, you're pulling teeth, you know, I know I'm not used to that. I'm not used to seeing people go by a house without being married or anything. So the one thing that I do like on this, this study, um, One of the other studies that I looked at was families are going back to multi generations under one roof.

Your family did that for a while. Yes. You did you, I know that it was two generations. Was there ever three generations under the roof at the same time? Other than when like Kyle came to visit, like your parents and say, Scott and Tracy and the kids, were they ever under the roof? You know, yeah, all of us were there.

Scott and Tracy and the kids too. Yeah. I didn't realize that. Or I don't remember that. Yeah. All of us moved back home. But that's, that used to be the norm. It was, I got divorced. I moved home then, then Liz followed then Scott and Tracy, something happened with the place they were living in and. Oh, that's right.

I forgot about that. I think the lady upstairs had a fire or something. Yeah. And then they moved and they weren't, they moved into the house, so, so yeah. So yeah. Your parents had, and their kids, it was everybody. Everybody was there. Scott and Tracy and the kids. Yeah. I forgot about that. And we made it work.

Well, yeah, because, but that's how it used to be, right? It used to be parents and that was grandparents and kids. That was what, 10 years ago? And then some, yeah. Yeah. At least, at least 10. Yeah, maybe. And maybe longer. A little bit. Yeah. Let's say 2000. 2008, 2007, somewhere up in there, maybe nine. I don't know.

Anyway. Anyways, but yeah, we, we packed that house. That was, we made it work though. Yeah. And the thing I always liked about your family was, family was never defined by someone you are related to by blood. Nope. Your family always made me feel like family. Yeah, you're always welcome. Because I was single living in New York, um, 450, 450, 500 miles away from my, Closest blood relative.

Okay. Leanne and what? 1200 miles from my dad. I think probably something like that. A day's drive almost, you know, at least, at least for a normal person. Yeah. Um, but anyway, and so I ended up once I knew your family, spending a lot of holidays there and coming over just to see your mom and sister and having coffee and stuff.

Yeah. Watching you argue with people, that was always good. Entertainment. Of course it was, man. That was some good entertainment. I wish I had a video camera. I look back at some of it and I'm like, I'm like, man, I should have recorded some of it. I should have. If I could have recorded some of those, I would have been rich.

Oh my God. I could have put those on anything and made bucks. I know. I know. Right. America's funniest videos would have been 10 grand richer. Mm hmm. So, but anyway, so that, and that's, and like, um, there's people I consider family that I'm not related to, you know, well, this is many people live with several friends that they call family.

Yeah. My daughter's doing that now. She's living with a bunch of friends, but their family, their family to her, you know, or whether they're making it family family. Yeah. But people also have friends that they consider family. Like, you know, push comes to shove. This is family. Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah. And there's a lot of people I've known that they're like, you're closer to me than my family.

You are my family. Right. Even though you're not. Like I said, it's not, it's, I mean, they consider family or, or it's. You know, one or two friends that live with them, like with a couple. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And we knew, uh, when we lived in Chandler, we knew some people that did that. Some younger people.

Yeah. A friend of Kyle's was one of them. There was a couple that had some friends that lived with them. And then there was some in the apartment complex. Um, right. Upstairs and behind us. Oh yeah, they were all over. It wasn't just our building, there was a couple of them. Yeah, I know, but I just remember them, and you know, and then, yeah, a couple of them now that I think about it.

Where you had like a couple, and then they'd have like a three bedroom and rent the other two out. Exactly, yeah, you'd have a couple, or it'd be two couples. Just depending on how, because there was a two bedroom split. Oh yeah, I forgot about the one girl when you did that. So, yeah, I forgot about them. So, and then if there's children, if children are involved, the extra people take, take on the role of helping them with childcare, which sometimes works.

You know, some people do. Yeah. Some people are really good about it. And some people are like, Oh no, not my kid. Not my monkey. Not my sir. Like, Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you, can you watch Charlie for like five minutes so I can run to the store? I just have to go get milk. Charlie's breakfast in the morning.

Yeah. Awesome. Thanks. I'm going to go grocery shopping for the household. Yeah. Well, I got to go to the store. Anybody need anything? Yeah. And I'll pick everything up. You keep an eye on, keep an eye on the kid. Can you keep an eye on Charlie for me? Yeah. Cause he's a demon in his store I don't wanna take him.

Well, and the other advantage to having multiple. People in under one roof is just like you and I and Kyle do. It's more than one person taking care of all the chores. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like I said, we help out. Yeah. And that's how it's supposed to be. And that's one of the things that we actively have worked at teaching Kyle over the last couple of years is doesn't matter if you're living under our roof, under his mother's roof, under his own roof.

Yeah. House doesn't clean itself, not unless you're a millionaire with a maid, magical fairies aren't going to come in. So you better work on that million dollar salary coming from the NFL if you're going to play football, buddy. Yeah. And then he says, he says to me, he's not playing football. So I said, well, then you better figure out how to make a million dollar salary on whatever you're doing in college because magical fairies aren't coming in, buddy, that, that, that bathroom.

Bedroom are not going to clean themselves. And when you've got your own place, dishes do not magically get cleaned and garbage doesn't get emptied. He better invest in a place that has a dishwasher and learn to rinse. I get paid 10 an hour pre soak plus gas. You're cheaper than me. I'm just saying, no, that's 10 an hour to come over plus gas and mileage.

You're still cheaper than me. I get, I get a 1. 50 a mile. Oh, okay. Remember, I'm a professional driver, baby! And the hourly starts from the moment you wake up? From the moment I walk out the door. Okay. The clock, chink, I punched the clock. Okay. Until I walked back through my door, punch out the time clock right here on the desk let me punch this card.

So we were talking about holidays at your parents and I can remember doing holidays at your parents house and it being like, I was there, not a blood relative. Um, Nick. And bear, um, Pat, I am a natural blood. Yes. Sean's friends, Sean's friends being there. Yeah. And somebody, I don't remember. It's like, Hey, it's like, so and so is invited to come on over.

If you want to invite Samara before Amanda and Samara, we're really together. She would come over. Yeah. This is my friend, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So yeah, it was like, and I remember having so many people dining room table, table was there and then the kitchen table, we had a table here. We had card table. It was like staggered.

Like you had the main table, the main table, then you had a card table and then a card. So a step down and then you had the kid table. That's just like a dream for me. You know that that's so nice. Oh yeah. I mean. Yeah. Good time. Yeah. But that was back in the day. Now it's like, yeah. Okay. But now families have, have, you know, kind of go off subject a little bit over here.

Families have kind of blended, you know, yeah, we had an episode about blended blended families because I forget what episode that was I'll have to look it up. I don't know. We're going to have print that list though. We talked about blended families because now Americans are more likely to see race as part of their identity.

Then they were say 10 years ago, even five years ago, it's up like it's increased, say 40%. And I would bet it's increased even more than that now that you identify with your race. Greatly, you know, you know, especially with like black lives matter coming up and all the stuff that's gone on in America and the problems with the Asian Americans being, how do I even word it?

Um, um, threatened, not threatened, bullied, bullied. Yeah. Attacked. Yeah, bullied, attacked everything. So, um, So Americans are starting to identify with race a lot more. So the attitude there has changed, which kind of, yeah. Our blended family episode was episode 16. Wow. That was a long time ago. Yeah. So go to, you know, 18WheelTalks.

com There are 18 wheel talk. com slash E one, six E one, six, or, or go to 18 wheel talk. com and click on the episode libraries. Hold on to episode 16. Yeah. Got an audio and a video there. So whichever you prefer, this is true, but families continue to change. What? I mean, people move, like people move people in and out of their households so quickly now.

And I used to live by somebody that, well, it was an apartment building. The apartment building had four apartments in it. And there were so many people that lived in one month. It was one couple in one apartment. The next month it was another couple. I'm like. Holy crap. I mean, there were so many people in and out of that frigging place.

It was like, you swear it was a crack house. Well, my neighbor, you met my neighbor back in New York, Diane. Yep. Okay. And I know she'll never hear this, but anyway, She watched the one time she listens. The one time she listens. She didn't move people in and out of her house. She moved people in and out of her life very quickly.

And she'd be like, Oh, this is family to me. And then like two weeks later, they're gone. Oh, they're dead to me. They're dead to me. Like, wow. Okay. They're no longer family. They're dead to me. But we had other... I've unfriended them on Facebook. I don't know. They're dead. Well, I deleted them out of my phone.

Yeah. I'm like, okay. I unfriended them. Yeah. Oh, no. Yes. Not unfri... Don't unfriend me. No. Don't take me off your social media. Please don't. Don't unfollow me. Anyway, speaking of which, you can follow us on Twitter, please. I can follow you, you . You can like, can follow us on Twitter and Instagram at at sign one eight Wheel Talk

But Oh, and you can tag us at hashtag one eight WT . But we had another neighbor. And we're getting good at that. Yeah, I know. We had another neighbor that she was single. There was, there was like five of us that were single that lived within a block of each other. And we had another neighbor that like one month there would be like a guy living there and she'd, Oh, this is my boyfriend and, and we're going to get married and blah, blah, blah, blah.

I'm like, okay, nice to meet you, but you know, and everything. Hey, whatever happened, whatever happened to George? Oh, he's an asshole again. Exactly. But then again, a week later, my new boyfriend, Bob, not, she never said my new boyfriend. It was always, and it was never boyfriend. This is my fiancé, Bob and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

What happened to George? Two months, two months later, it'd be, and this is my fiancé, Tom and Paul. And not just, it would be their kids would move in with her. I'm like, okay, you're 60. Yeah. And you're moving your fiancé and his 30 year old kid in with you and his grandchildren. Somebody's taking advantage.

Yeah. You're talking about being taken advantage of, but it's okay. The last I knew she never, she just kept rotating men in her life because they saw an easy strike. They saw a woman who owned her own house and they got to go in, live rent free for a couple of months. pawn off her, you know, like, like you said, families continue to change and evolve as life does and society does.

Yeah, that's, that's, that's simple, but it's all when people, I, I never like. I hated her or anything for it or tried not to judge her. I felt bad for her. I felt bad. I felt bad for Diane because she was always looking for that Prince charming. I'm like, you're never going to find him. You're looking for something that doesn't exist because she, nobody was ever good enough that if the guy I'm talking about for her.

Oh, for her. Okay. I was like, wow. Just kick me when I'm down. I'm not kicking you when you're down. Don't tickle me. Turkey. Hey,

hey, one good thing about this, this pandemic is that it was that families became closer once again. I think that's what we were in a nutshell. Families were back in the day. Families used to be close. Then they grew apart and now they're growing close again since the pandemic. I agree. Because you don't want to see a family member die.

There are people that have seen more than one family member get the virus and die from it, you know, that's devastating. Well, and we brought the pandemic up a lot on this podcast, but people are, which brings up the whole. COVID vaccine, but it's people are still dying. Yeah. People are still dying. It's like, you know, the vaccine, yes, you get the vaccine, but these new variants, it's like the vaccine helps.

It's not a guarantee. It's like the flu shot. It's not a cure. It helps. I'm just saying it's not a cure. That's a rant for another day. Yeah. I know you and your flu shot and blah, blah, blah. You and me and the conspiracy theories. Coming out to play. So families have changed and I personally hope families continue to change and get closer together because to me, the biggest loss as I've grown older from say 20 to 29, I am now has been.

Families growing further apart, not seeing my family as much. I, like I said, I could totally live in an environment where my brothers and I and all our families lived close together. You know, it's like I've, I've imagined, you know, living on the same block as everybody, you know, it's like I lived on a dead end street.

So I was like, I can imagine, you know, living two doors away from my brother, across the street from my sister, down the road from mom and dad, you know, I, I. Yeah, I, I, I get what you're saying because I've pitched it myself and I could do that. Well, see, and I've got a friend that I grew up with, Josie, um, you've heard me talk about Eddie, you know, you know, and through Facebook, but Josie, her and I were friends in grade school and high school.

Okay. Um, her and all her sisters. Marie's the other one I can think of. I can't think of all the sisters. They go to Florida on vacation every year. The girls, just the women. Okay. Eddie joins them at the end for a couple of days. Cause then it's all the siblings, but then they have a camp where everybody in the summer brings their.

Campers and sets up and they're all together and every weekend that they're available, they're out there at the camp every summer, you know, if so, even though they don't live like right on top of each other, they see each other all the time. And they, during the summer, they're able to spend time and they spend their holidays together.

To me, that's really enviable. That's something that they're able to do. And they enjoy, you know, I know at one point our family was actually talking about doing, uh, you know. Like a regular family reunion, but we got so spread out that it just kind of went by the way, because we got, we got. Family in North Carolina, you know, a lot of family in North Carolina, there's some in South Carolina, one of them was in Alaska, and I know there's a few Scott, you know, I think, um, one, one is one or two are in Texas, and we're here in Arizona now, and your sister in Vegas lives in Las Vegas, and I think there might be one or two in California, so it's like now we're like all spread out, it's like almost next to impossible to, you know, But see, families don't do that anymore.

See, right. But like I said, this was back. Yeah. You know, 15, 20 years ago, we were all talking about it, but because we all lived in the same area. Let's see my family growing up. We all every year there was a family reunion. I don't remember the last time my mom's family had a reunion, but my dad's family, they were still doing family reunions.

I know in 97. I know that when my exes had a family reunion. I know that when Dawn was a little girl, she was. I want to say two or three. There was a family reunion. Um, because like I said, we went to my brother's house in St. Louis and then we went up to the, um, Springfield area. I can't think of where the, I don't remember if it was in Lincoln park or if we, but like, yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's no longer around.

I mean, but I think the pandemic would, we're shutting everybody in. I think family is a little bit closer because, because of the, Oh my God, what, what, you know, what are we going to do if we lose Charlie or, or John. And I'm glad that when, you know, when my dad made his visit out here a couple of years ago, we managed to get everybody here to our house.

We were in Chandler, but, but, but still we were able to, yeah. It was hot in the blazes, but you know, we, we still make it, made it work. Yeah. We had a barbecue. We had a couple hours together where everybody showed up. It was nice. We complained about the heat. Yes. And that we couldn't get to, we, we complained about the fact that the management wouldn't let us rent the pool area for a couple hours.

Yeah. Reserve a table. Oh, God forbid. No. Yeah. Oh, no, no. We don't do that here. I was like, why not? Yeah. It's like they could be making money and didn't. Oh well, yeah, it is what it's so, but we were able to have a get together. Yes. We had, and we had a good time, was at least people that lived here and we had a really nice time and a really nice visit.

And we had some more smaller where someone was not there. Like the next time he came out, we went to a restaurant together, but I think, I think now that, that things are starting to get back to normal a little bit back to normal, I think because of it, families are closer, therefore they'll do more family type stuff is what I was trying to get, you know, like, like, it's like, like if we, if, if families could afford to do it.

Pick a spot on a map and say, all right, this year we're going here. Well, I'm personally, yeah, and I do. And I personally think that my siblings and I and you will all be together this coming winter at some point. As long as it's in a warm area. Oh, good. My dad's ashes. Oh, that's right. Yeah. That's right. But that's the reason it's not because we're going to go celebrate a holiday or, but we could always talk about it.

It's like, Hey, why don't we do some sort of family reunion type thing? Yeah, well, we'll have, we'll at least have my other two brothers that live out of the valley because they're, they're the ones that have to travel David and I won't. Well, well here. Yeah, but I'm just saying, and then, and then one year we could.

Do it in Missouri. One year we can do it, you know, you know what I mean? Yeah, I think the Colorado one, Chuck, is moving to Missouri or Tennessee or Kentucky. You know, the nice thing about our job is we can move anywhere. That's what I like about doing this. So anyway, so families have changed. Yes. I have, like I said, I have friends.

I consider family. Your sister's convinced I'm part of your family. She's, I'm a Heller. Well, I might tell her day and I I'm not your sister in law Heller McCue. That's right. I'm an O' Heller McCue. I'm like Frankie. Yeah. Francine Marie O' Heller McCue. You just throw the Heller in there before the McCue and you're good.

I know. Or after the McCue, before the McCue. Heller McCue. And then, then, then if I put a ring on it, then it'll go after. You'll be a McCue Heller. If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it. Anyway, listen, don't worry. My balls will fall one of these days and I'll, I'll go ask all three brothers.

Well, you knew my dad's opinion on that. You knew my dad's opinion on that. Well, I, yeah. Since one of the last big conversations him and I had in December of 2019, around my birthday was, is he ever going to ask you? So then I said, Oh, here's the phone. You ask him. And what did I tell him? Why get married? It leads to marital problems.

He laughed! He agreed!

And then you said, well, are ya?

He might have agreed, but... Listen, I went down that road once. I've been there, done that. You've been there, done that. Why, you know, we learned from our mistakes. You don't get married. I have, I have two brothers that have been married before that are very happily married. You know, you know. But it's all good.

I'll live with you in sin, darling. Oh good. In sin. Wait a minute. Wait, you, did you ever go to the church and get whatever you had to get done because you were married once before? Did you do that already? Oh, you did. In secret and he didn't tell me I've been waiting on getting married in the Catholic church.

I was waiting for you to get that done. Oh boy. Oh, you didn't get to know I left you when this is done, baby. You're mine. Oh,

please. Okay. Patrick, any final thoughts on, on, uh, on the ever changing role of American families? Um, well, if we ever do decide to put a ring on it, um, I think we should announce it out here instead of telling your sister first, see how long it takes her to find out we'll have to do, we'll have to do a live episode.

Me going down on one knee and not getting back up again. I'd help you back up. We'd have Kyle behind you to pick you up. He's strong enough. He's strong enough to pick you up. Yeah, yeah, he probably is. Yeah, probably is. But see, the nice thing is he was raised right. He does respect his parents. Yes, he does.

You know, that's, that's gone. That's that. Anyways, that's a rant for another time. I don't want to get into it right now. It's part of, it's part of family has something or something to, but it's a rant for another day. Yes, it is. I hope you enjoyed this. I know we got a little bit off track, everybody. I hope we, hey, if we made you laugh, cause you know, we do, we do firmly believe laughter is the best medicine.

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Um, if you're an Android user, you can go to pod chaser and leave us a review there. Oh, what's that one? Dawn listens on. I don't know. Pandora. We're everywhere. Yes. Pandora. She told me, you know, we're on Pandora, but not everybody can leave a review on the, on the podcast players. There are some that you can do or something that you can't.

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I have yet to use it. You have a beep button and I didn't know. Yeah, remember I downloaded the signs. The beep. I forgot. Beep. A beep. I'm going to download it on my phone and start beeping. Ha ha ha. What the fuck ever. All right, peoples. All right, everybody. Anyways, like I said. Oh, and hey. Thanks Help, help us help breast cancer.

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