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18WT 024:  The Astounding Sea Snot Tragedy In Istanbul!

June 15, 2021  Patrick Heller / Janet McCue

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18WT 024:  What the Hell is Sea Snot Patrick wants to know? Like see you, see me Patrick asks. Janet says no, like Sea, the Marmara sea in Turkey. To whit Patrick jokes about Marmara and lands on he likes turkey. Not the bird turkey Janet replies, the country, like Istanbul Turkey. Turkey, the sea is covered in snot.

Mucilage is covering the sea, and this brings up the Mucinex guy. Janet is trying to put it context, but Patrick is stuck in the joke zone with earthquakes. He says to go to YouTube to see the earthquake and Janet replies, you can also see her smack Patrick there. She is sure it will happen. Patrick drops the F-bomb and Janet smacks him, five minutes in, go figure.

They say that sea snot was first documented in Turkey in 2007. The latest outbreak is thought to be the largest in history, according to the BBC. Patrick stops to fix his microphone; Janet asks if it has snot on it. Patrick checks for testicles. They exchange smack, pinches, and laughs but eventually get on subject.

Patrick brings back up the Marmara Sea and how in April, marine researchers even spotted the mucus blanketing corals on the sea bottom 100 feet below the surface. So Turkey has too much snot covering themselves. The sea he means.

So then he says what causes Sea Snot, Janet lets him know that it is when algae are overloaded with nutrients. Or in Patricks’ words, algae blows their nose. Janet replies, rising temps in the sea. So he brings up a snotty nose and a fever. Janet just keeps going on about it is also a discharge of untreated sewage being released into the sea.

They both gag and are all EWWWW.

Phytoplankton, not the one from Spongebob, (a.k.a. microalgae, full of chlorophyll and require sunlight) are to blame the little bastards…thrive in warmer and nutrient-rich waters and they discharge the snotty substance.

Janet continues with her miniature science lesson about how Sea snot is not to be confused with a small gelatinous blob in the deep sea, a new species, found using only high-definition underwater cameras. The creature, officially known as Duo brachium sparksae, is a new species of ctenophores, or comb jelly. Patrick talks about how she can say all of the scientific names and he can do a loop on just that. She totally went deep dive on this. They laugh about that.

They confuse the two because marine researchers even spotted the mucus blanketing corals on the sea bottom 100 feet below the surface.

Back to Sea snot…Patrick has to sneeze, and Janet offers him a Kleenex, and this makes her wonder how big a Kleenex a whale needs in the Marmara Sea to blow their nose.   Patrick has no idea.

Patrick continues… so a thick slimy layer of the organic matter, known as marine mucilage, has spread through the sea south of Istanbul, posing a threat to marine life and the fishing industry. And the Snot is killing the fish the coral, everything but itself.

Janet stumbles on her own words and finally spits it out that snot is causing a National emergency in Turkey. Patrick continues that he read or heard on the news, but doesn’t remember where, that the Turkish Prime Minister is in a tizzy over it and has declared an emergency at the Marmara Sea at a harbor on the shoreline of Istanbul. It has spread from the Marmara Sea and into the adjoining Black and Aegean Seas. They joke about the marinara sauce sea.

It is killing a lot of sea life, dolphins, whales, turtles, stars, etc.

Patrick continues that fishermen are unable to work because they cannot operate motors or nets in the sludge. They discuss being on the water on a boat and Patrick likes motor boats. Janet replies, not that type. They laugh and continue about cleaning the nets.

They continue to discuss how the sludge as turned the water brown and divers have reported a large number of fish and other species dying due to suffocation, and species like oysters, mussels, and sea stars are also under threat from the gelatinous film.

In other words, everything is dying in the seas. Dude Crush and Squirt too. Janet makes a bad joke and Patrick moves her on. She replies that Turkey’s President Erdogan …he sounds like something out of Star Wars. He blamed the current outbreak on untreated water being dumped from cities like Istanbul and vowed to “clear our seas from the mucilage scourge”.

This of course brings up all the Star Wars jokes and how his vibe is right there, Darth Vader and all. They can see him in a Vader outfit, and they start with more jokes. Patrick wants to give him a pirate hat and patch instead.

Janet says, no that would go to Turkey’s environment minister Murat Kurum. Patrick thinks she is joking about his name, she is not. So Patrick begins playing the game “Clue” with the “characters” or as we know them , officials from Turkey.

Environmental minister Murat Kurum unveiled an action plan to designate the entire Marmara Sea as a protected area. Janet wonders if this is just to tell the snot to go away. Patrick replies that no, it is to get funding. The actions should reduce pollution and improve treatment of wastewater from coastal cities and ships.

The aim is to reduce nitrogen levels in the sea by 40 percent. Imagine if someone dropped a match there. Poof! Now it is the Marmara Desert.

They say this is the biggest maritime cleanup in the country’s history. How could it not be if it is the biggest disaster? This brings up global warming and former VP Al Gore, the global warming guy. Janet wants to know why this is brought to you by the BBC. Are they part of the British Empire? Did they give Turkey to Meghan and Harry?

Speaking of them, their daughter is like 8th in line for the throne of England and can as an adult can run for President of the U.S. Because she was born in the U.S. Strange fact, not related to Sea Snot. She was name after the Queen and Princess Dianna and has ten names. Lilibeth Dianna dot, dot, dot.

Back to Sea Snot. How is it that the BBC is the only ones’ reporting on this stuff? Patrick says like bombings in Israel and Pakistan. Janet says her turf is the pugs at her feet.

Janet wonders how long it will take to clean up the longest snot in history. They discuss the boat and Janet is at a loss for words to describe it. Patrick keeps throwing up terms and throwing her off.

They agree it is deep and thick and will take a lot of cleanup. Maybe a big net being scooped up by a crane. Like Deadliest Catch with a tighter net. Her other question is, why is it that the only place you hear about sea snot is Turkey. Patrick asks for the punchline.

Janet says no and goes on to explain about the other countries were not reporting anything like this and they agree that maybe the other countries have something against Turkey. Janet beats Patrick to the punch and says maybe it is because it makes you sleepy after Thanksgiving dinner. They laugh some more and Janet jokes about smacking him.

Janet wants to give a Kleenex for the whales and the fishies. She jokingly puts a Kleenex as a filter over her mic. Patrick says Please baby Jesus help us and Janet segways into helping support the show support Breast Cancer Research. The subject is near and dear to their hearts, and they will be selling items on their website through October and donating ½ of all the profits to Breast Cancer Research. As well as doing a special show for Breast Cancer Survivors and remembrance stories of those that were lost to it.

They also bring up getting your Covid Shots while you are there! You will like getting your Covid Shot there. They joke about being snotty. And such with a Bye!